Friday, November 8, 2019

The Bones

I'm probably one of the least romantic people you'll ever meet.  I'm a cold Norwegian and it just is what it is.  Not to say that I don't attempt to be lovey dovey and crap once in a while.. which is what I did on our anniversary this year.  Looking back, little did I know, I was kind of foreshadowing our so-called Fall Flood.

September 8th was our 18th wedding anniversary and there's a song by Maren Morris called, "The Bones" and I just love everything about it. If you haven't listened to it, you must... it is so well-written.  Listen to the original version on her Girl album. Not the version featuring Hozier.  Or the Dave Aude Remix... Not sure how many versions they thought they needed?  There's also an acoustic version too.  WHATEVER!  Just listen to the damn song.  It's good.

The chorus goes:

When the bones are good, the rest don't matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain 'cause you and I remain the same
When there ain't a crack in the foundation
Baby, I know any storm we're facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don't fall when the bones are good

I momentarily forgot what my point was and I had to go back and re-read what I wrote already.  Jesus.

My point was that I was trying to be all romantic and shit and posted this verse with some cute pictures of the two of us on Facebook for our anniversary.  I try to be romantic and end up being creepy instead.  I should know better.

Let it rain 'cause you and I remain the same..... Let it rain?  Sure.  Bring on the rain... All 65 inches of it plus, throw in a little snow, because, you know, we love disasters.

When there ain't a crack in the foundation....crack in the foundation... where the 65 inches of rain seeped in... you mean that foundation?!

Will blow right over while we stay put..... while we stay put.  Stay put.  For THREE DAYS.  Wet vac'ing EVERY HOUR.  For THREE DAYS.  Did I say it was for THREE DAYS yet?

I had no idea I was a clairvoyant but apparently I am.

Current situation:
-We are still dry!  Yay!
-All three sump pumps still run on a regular basis, albeit not as often.
-We FINALLY got the carpet re-installed downstairs.  No thanks to no-show carpet layer guy who is now eternally on my shit list.
-I found out Beano really does work.
-Ryan made an awesome built-in to camouflage the sump in the bedroom.


Tah-dah!











The business that we bought our reclaimed wood from in Fargo, Dakota Timber Company, did a tent show at Simonson's the Friday after the dust settled so Ryan was able to purchase more reclaimed wood from them to tie in the built-in with the wood wall.  Small win but we'll take it!  If you haven't checked out Dakota Timber Company out of Fargo, you should! 


🎵   No, it don't always go the way we planned it......
But the wolves came and went and we're still standing  🎵













Friday, October 18, 2019

My super hero doesn’t wear a cape... he runs a jackhammer

I don’t even know where to begin. Hello! It’s been a while! And for those who may be new to reading this and wondering “what the hell is this?” It’s my blog... about my house... that I haven’t written about in a long time because I didn’t have much to say.... UNTIL NOW.

I think I can speak for most of us when I ask “ What the f**k Mother Nature?!” Damn bitch is crabby.

I’m gonna be all over the place here so hang with me.... I will attempt to finish a thought but it’s going to be tough.

So, I love my house. This house. 1223 Rhinehart. This fricking house of mine. The one that Husband and I have put blood, sweat, tears and YEARS of labor in to. Can I call it a labor of love? Possibly....

I have to stop confusing Mother Nature with The House.  The two intercepted this week and it was not pretty. Not. Pretty. At. All. And I’ve got the pictures to prove it. So read on.....

I know, poor me. Poor house. Believe me when I say that I know the situation I’m about to describe is peanuts compared to a lot of other shit going on in the world and namely, in our area. I pray for our farmers every day and the wrath of nature they are facing. It is almost unfathomable and unfortunately, that is what I thought of to put my own situation into perspective this week. It doesn’t make it suck any less, but it makes me thankful that I could be in way worse of a scenario and I’m not.

September 20th. Five inches of rain. Little did we know this was just the tip of the iceberg. And the downstairs of my house was the proverbial Titanic.

I want to say that the purpose of this blog post is to HELP someone - anyone - that may be facing or could face this situation. Spring of 2020 could quite possibly affect many of you reading this that live in this area.

I’ll stop babbling now and get on with it.

Facts:
  • Our house was built in 1954
  • We have a concrete and brick foundation/basement
  • Our house does not have drain tile around it
  • 1 sump hole in the NW corner
  • When we landscaped years back, we did bank up all around the house and have a pretty pronounced slope, moving away from the house.
  • Up until September 20th, our sump pump had not ran in about 15 years.  Bone dry.
  • As of October 15th, said pump runs every 6 minutes.
About a week ago, after many rainy days and the initial 5 inch rainfall and an impending snow storm, we started to worry.  Time to take precautions.  We bought a fancy, new sump pump with all of the bells and whistles: a back up pump, battery back up, alarm, burglar system, UFO homing device and an intercom that goes directly to the Red Pepper.  We also bought a generator and felt like, "alright - we are sitting pretty now and are ready for anything."

Big Blizzard prediction.  Snow to be measurable in feet - not inches.  But we're ok.  We have a fancy new pump, a generator and beer in the fridge... We're good, right?

Think again.  Cue the theme music from Jaws

Friday, October 11th.   Snow Day.  We're having a few friends over and one notices we have a little water at the bottom of the staircase.  No biggie.  Wipe it up.... It comes right back... What?  We search around and.... crap.  Seepage underneath the staircase.

Ryan gets out the shop vac, sucks it up and back to our regularly scheduled program of the Sioux game and drinking a few beers.  A little seepage.... Not surprising as we know the ground is very saturated.  Check it again before bed and there's a little more there but whatever...

Saturday morning.   Ryan has a hunch to check the downstairs bedroom in the NE corner of the house and low and behold.  The carpet is wet!  UGH!!!  Is that not one of the WORST feelings ever when you walk on soaked carpet?!?!  Son of a gun!!!
So now we have seepage under the stairs towards the SE corner of our house and seepage in the bedroom in the NE corner of the house.  Our sump hole is located in the NW corner of the house.
Under the stairs the water is pooling and it's leaking out into the hallway again.

Now the hallway closet is starting to weep (and so am I) and the back bedroom seems to have a river running through it.  What is going on?!

So we start wet vac'ing… We borrow a 2nd one and quickly seem to get into a routine of wet vac'ing at the top of every hour.  By sticking with a schedule, we can somewhat measure if the situation is remaining the same or if the water is increasing.  It's steadily increasing.  We were wet vac'ing at the top of every hour, around the clock for THREE days and becoming completely exhausted and defeated.  We proactively rolled up the living room carpet and prepared for our basement to turn into a swimming pool.

We decided to try and sink a sump hole right outside of our house to try and draw the water away.  We dug in a couple of different areas right next to the house and.... it was dry!  What?!  5 feet down and nothing.  How can that be?  Two words:  Hydrostatic Pressure.  I could bore you with the technical definition but basically what hydrostatic pressure does is drive groundwater into the basement through gaps and cracks in the masonry.  Even a well-constructed basement foundation can't provide a perfect barrier against hydrostatic pressure.  Water always finds an opening.  High water pressure can also cause seepage through solid concrete. (www.basementsystems.com)




Houses that have drain tile, can usually avoid this problem but in our area, we have such a high level of saturation that there are houses with drain tile that are still having seepage.

It's amazing how much a person can learn at my age in the matter of a few hours.  Hydrostatic Pressure are now cuss words in this house.

Monday morning I started calling around for someone to come and put drain tile on the outside of our house.  We were still convinced that this was what needed to be done.  I called a friend of ours that did all of our concrete work when we remodeled our house.  I left him a voicemail just asking for him to point me in the right direction as we were grasping at straws.  Praise the good Lord, he called back.  Turns out he was fighting the same fight at his house and he told us we needed to sink a sump hole INSIDE our house.  He also had an electric jackhammer we could borrow if we needed it.

While I'm on the phone with him, poor Ryan is wrecking our laundry room floor, trying to create a trench from the seepage under the stairs to the floor drain.


It didn't work and he was about to lose his mind.  We were seriously at our wits end.  The water was starting to come in so fast that we could hardly keep up. I told him what our friend, Elliot, from K & E Construction just told me and we decided we needed to just go for it.  At this point, I don't care how messy my downstairs gets - we just need to keep this water the hell out!

Time to get down and dirty.
Meet our newest best friend:  Jack Hammer.



We actually did the sump hole under the stairs first but it was so dirty and dusty in there that I couldn't see a thing and could hardly breathe so I did not get any photos of the process.

End result:
A smaller version of a sump hole with a 5 gallon pail.  Because, of course, another snag... as Ryan was digging out the hole to put in the sump well, there was what was either a gas line or water line in the way so he was able to stick a 5 gallon pail and the sump pump beside it.  Anyways... it WORKED!  The seepage started to fill up the hole rather than come through the walls and floor.  Finally... a win!  More tears.. this time of joy.  And because of the jackhammer dust.





Current situation:  Permanent sump hole in the back bedroom.  We have the hose running out the window to the curb right now but Ryan is going to eventually cut a hole and run it out of the rim joist.


Once he's able to complete that, then we'll build a built-in cabinet/nightstand to conceal the pump like we did with our main sump pump in the living room:


As I am sitting here typing this today, October 18th, it's been exactly one week since the nightmare began.  I'm sicker than a dog and I'm sure it's due to the stress, lack of sleep and abundance of cement dust I've inhaled.  My downstairs looks like a war zone but, it's DRY.  

I wanted to post this as soon as I could because if this can help even one person, then I've done my job.  I'm not saying that this is the solution for everyone but it definitely is for many.  In fact, Ryan already helped one of our friends do the same thing at their house and it worked out just as well.....pun intended 😉

Like I said earlier, we know this pales in comparison to so many other situations happening right now.  We pray daily for our farming community and hope there's a light and better days ahead.  There's a saying that, "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" and I do believe that...  I think He just needs to test our strength and our faith every once in a while and this situation, for us, was just that.





Thursday, February 4, 2016

Cover your ears

Hello
It's me
I was wondering if after all these reno's, you'd like to see..
To go over...
Everything
They say that tile's supposed to be heated
But we ain't agreeing

HELLO FROM THE BATHROOM TIIIIILE
I think we've flushed a million tiiiiimes
We try and we try butt we just can't win
This house is old and makes me chug gin

Well, I do have lots of updates for you and at the moment, I cannot publish them as they are filled with expletives. It has been a challenging month of January. Our newest project is the upstairs bathroom... And inadvertently, possibly the downstairs one too if our lovely plumbing issues continue.

Kiss your plumber today and stay tuned for a more calm and collected post.....


Me. Today.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Project Parlor


I like to swear.  A lot.  I can't help it.

So, now that we have that out of the way.....

In one of our previous episodes, I stated that I wouldn't want to disappoint you in regards to just finishing a plain old foyer.  So, we decided to go a little crazy with it.  Well, that was a bit of an understatement.  Bat-shit crazy would be more like it.

Let's review....

The Game Plan was to:
  • Use the buckboard as inspiration for the decor
  • Put up a faux copper tin ceiling
  • Build some built-in lockers
  • Install heated pinstriped wood flooring
  • Swear
  • Tape and texture as little as possible
  • Install a barn wood wall
  • Drink alcohol
  • Get a Tetanus shot
  • Have a chandelier or 2
  • Resurrect the stain glass windows from the original front door that Grandpa George made
We've done almost all of it... In addition to the list above, we had a few other chores to accomplish that I think we deliberately blocked from our minds.  Like.... Trim work, crown molding, staining and sealing all of it.  That was not my most favorite and I'm still trying to get the stain out of the cracks of my fingernails.


The Buckboard 
The inspiration for the room in which we have now come to refer to as The Parlor
I purchased this at a "Junkin Sale" and have been skipping about it ever since.  What a find!
 Let's take a moment to reflect why......
"Old stuff" is really hot right now.  It looks cool, to those who like it.  But what I personally love most about it is the nostalgia.  I love to just stare at these little pieces of history and wonder what has it seen and heard over the last century?  They're relics of days gone by and they made it through time to now!  Amazing!


The Ceiling 
This was a "drink and try again" project.  It also involved some swearing.
 
We used these ceiling tiles - same ones we used in the kitchen:
 
We wanted to do a copper ceiling but then do some kind of a distress to it.  Well, that didn't really pan out.  (Refer to my previous post for a refresher.)

We bought a gallon of the copper metallic paint.. This is paint that you have to special order.  We bought ours from Sherwin Williams.  It's about a $100 a can so pretty spendy but it covers really well and goes a long way.... Unlike the beer in the background.


We painted the ceiling with copper metallic paint and....
 
Hated it!  Of course!  Why would we like something the first time around? 
It was just too orange-y.  And the way it reflected on the beige walls made our walls look like they were pink.  Gross.

(BTW, these photos do not do it justice.  I'm realizing as I'm posting these pics, they don't look much different from each other but trust me, they were.  And I remember taking the first set of photos so that means I was sober for BOTH photo shoots.)

Now what do we do? 
We're idiots and so we took some black paint and dumped it into our $100 can of copper paint to darken it up, of course.
But guess what?!?!? It worked! 
ORANGE you glad we did that?
 
Ryan & Milissa - 1   Ceiling - 0
 
 
The Flooring
After a shitshow of installing floor heat, we got the flooring installed and surprisingly, this was a project that actually went smooth for us and had great results.

 Tah-dah!
This is tongue & groove engineered hardwood flooring.  It's what's called a floating hardwood floor as it is not nailed or glued down.  In order to have the heated floor, this was the route we had to go.
 
I love this flooring and how it turned out.  The only thing I don't love is that the dark stripes show EVERYTHING.  But, I have solved this problem by teaching my boys to "only walk on the light stripes."  It's ok, it's fun for them.  Feel free to do the same when you come to visit..... ;)
 
 
The Barnwood Wall
Ugh - what a bitch it was getting the wood to complete this project.  Only Ryan and Milissa would venture out in the middle of winter, sober, and harvest old wood off of a building. 
Yes, I just used the word 'harvest'.
 
Before:

 
 
After!
Hey Patsy.  Why ya lookin at me that way?  Oh, you're mad they don't have a channel on Sirius Satellite radio dedicated to Patsy Cline?  ME TOO.  What is up with that?!?!?  If Pearl Jam can have one, Patsy Cline sure as hell should.  We need to make some calls.
 
We were a little nervous as to how the little light stripes where the wood was nailed to each other would look but after sanding the wood down and making sure the stripes were staggered, I think it looks pretty bitchin' !

 
 
 
Built-in lockers
Before:
 
 
 
And... After!
 
 
Super Hubby built this all by his lonesome.  I painted it.  A few times.  Tried the whole "chalk paint" thing and sucked at it so reverted to good ol' latex paint.  The hanger and bench are leftover barnwood from the wall and the floor of the shoe cubbies are vinyl placemats I bought at Pier One and stuck some of those 3M velcro thingies on the bottom to make cleaning easier.  And no, that was not an idea I got from Pinterest.  I thought of that one all by myself  *pats self on back*

 
The Trim and Crown Molding
Out of everything in this room, this is my 2nd favorite thing.  I don't know if it's because it was one of those situations, like so many others, that started out, "oh crap, now what do we do?" and went to "Hot damn!  It turned out!"

The tricky part about all of this was that all of our doors in this room - there's SIX of them - count them, SIX... Front door, 2 closet doors, a set of french doors and the illegal door to the garage.  The exterior doors were special ordered fiberglass doors that we bought in a dark brown color.  We need our WOOD trim to match our brown FIBERGLASS doors.  No problem - we'll just buy the same color stain that the doors are.  WRONG.  The Dark Walnut color that would supposedly work, WAS NOT THE SAME COLOR. Grrrrrrrr!!!  Someone get me a beer. 

To make this long story short, for the hell of it, we tried using black stain.  Yes - black.  Minwax Ebony to be exact.  And in the famous words of The Olsons, well hoooolllyyy shit, it worked!

Oak was used for the trim and crown molding.  Also, Ryan MADE all of the trim and crown molding himself and it could not have turned out better.  It is absolutely amazing and I am so in love with it....  And him :)
Awwwwwwww
 
 
I have to show you lots of before pics because it really shows you the look of the trim.  It's harder to see in photos after it was stained.
See the paper surrounding the trim?  That's wax paper that he put up the same time as the trim so that when we stained and sealed the wood, the clean up would be easy-peasy.  Genius!
 
 
Done!
 
 
 
 

Last but not least...

The Stain Glass Windows
My favorite.


Thanks Grandpa :)
 
Befores and Afters:

 

 



 

 

 

 


A little hidden treasure for later on...Now you see them...




Now you don't :D
 
Project Parlor complete!